This is My Life

This is my life. I thought about killing my puppy today. Before you get all up and arms, I didn’t. I thought about killing myself last night; correction I thought about killing a few people and then myself. Again, obviously I didn’t do any of those things unless I’m writing from the grave. Rest assured once I have mastered the ability to write from the grave I will be rich and famous. But seriously this is an autobiography, memoir, a thirteen year old girl’s diary, whatever the fuck you want to call it. I want to make this a book but I have no idea how to do that, so go fuck yourself. 

Now that the introduction is out of the way we can get started. If anyone who knows me would ask me if I have been drinking and my response would be of course. Just a little, well wait, I been drinking a lot otherwise I wouldn’t think writing this would be a good idea. I know you are on the edge of your seat to learn what my life is about but give me a second, I need to take this shot of vodka and light this cigarette. Well if you’re still here you got problems, problems I can probably relate to. So back to this book I’m writing, it all began when…. well I don’t necessarily know when it begins. How about I just jump around from different events that I have experienced throughout my 34 years on this planet? Hold on I’m putting out my smoke. Okay, so I’m writing this with bloody knuckles. Why you say? I got in a fight with my bedroom door. I won. Why did I decide to test the fighting ability of my bedroom door? It looked at me funny; it’s none of your fucking business. Wait my whole point in writing this is to explain myself and my life and how I got to the point of fighting doors.