I'm pissed. I can't take this shit anymore. She's always up in my ass for no fucking reason. You know what, fuck it! I'll show her. Hee grabs his keys and enters the garage where his 1998 Camaro is sitting which has been neglected because she never gets taken out, as the registration has been out for some time now. Hee opens the driver side door with authority, waking her up from a long slumber. Hee hops in the driver seat and fires up the engine, even revs it a couple of times. Camaro is excited to finally go out for a spin. However, the garage door never opens. That's right bitch, this will change your ways. Hee inhales deeply as the fumes from the exhaust begin to feel the small garage. Suddenly the garage door begins to open....
Oh shit what time is it? How long was I passed out for? As the garage door rises he sees her car pulling into the drive way....
What the fuck is this motherfucker doing in the garage with his stupid ass car running. Rreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaly! He thinks he's going to kill himself in my garage, when my kids will be home shortly! OH NO SIR! She jumps out of her vehicle and runs up to the driver side window. Hee turns and looks at her somewhat half asleep. POW! His head snaps back. BOOM! His head bounces off of the steering wheel. Hee is quickly snapped back to reality and she is in his face like a Velociraptor waiting for a raw steak. "You fucking think you are going to kill yourself in my HOUSE when my kids are about to be home!" She pulls him from the vehicle. "You kill yourself somewhere else you selfish prick." Hee lies on the garage pavement in tears somewhat ashamed for his actions because hee really never fully intended on killing himself. She storms into the house to find empty bottles of liquor strewn about. Not exactly anything new, but this little stunt takes the cake. She grabs her phone as she hears him wailing in the background, "Why won't you love me!?" The phone begins to ring....
"Hello? Oh hey what's up you sound a little frantic. Wait he tried to do WHAT?! Ah fuck. I'm on my way." He immediately jumps up and grabs his keys and rushes out of the door without any explanation to the friends who are sitting in his living room.....
He pulls up to the house (to simplify things, let's just call him Jorge). Jorge pulls up to the house and sees him sitting on the tailgate of his truck. Jorge parks and gets out of his vehicle, Fuck me what do I say to him? He walks up to the driveway:
Jorge: What's going on, talk to me? You are really scaring some people.
Him: Ah shit she called you didn't she?
Jorge: Yea, and I think for good reason.
Jorge sits down on the tailgate with him.
Jorge: You care to explain the reason why I am here?
Hee is somewhat calm and almost jovial for someone who just tried to commit suicide.
Him: Well Jorge, I don't think you would get it. You just fuck hookers and deal drugs.
That's an outrageous statement, but just go with it.
Jorge: Well why don't you try me?
Him: Man, I just can't get ahead (says entitled white male). I mean I'm a veteran, shouldn't
that count for something? You know what I mean?
Actually no, I was in the Marine Corps and you were in the Navy. 2 completely different experiences.
Jorge: I know exactly what you mean. But how did we get where we are right now? Is it the
the job that is stressing you out or what?
Him: Na, I lost that job after a week. And she got pissed! People have panic attacks, get over it
geez.
Jorge: So you're not working right now?
Him: Na, it's been a little over a month and she's totally up my ass. I mean she did pay for me to come out here from Georgia and supports me financially, but WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I am a man but she treats me like a child.
Jorge: So let me get this straight. She paid for you to move here, supports you financially, and provides a roof over your head. I'm confused as to why you would want to commit
suicide.
Him: You just don't get it J. I mean, she drinks all the time too. Sometimes she even smokes
pot.
Jorge: Umm ok, but you do those things too. However, she has a full time job which pays your bills. She is also raising two children. So I don't think your focus should be on her. You should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have actually grown up. For fuck sake 2 months ago you were living with your mother.
Him: Like I said Jorge, YOU DON'T GET IT! Anyway, I'm gonna grab some 99 Bananas from the liquor store, you want anything? You would have to give me money for it of course. That bitch only put a quarter tank of gas in my truck, so I'm strapped for cash.
Jorge looks at him in disbelief.
Jorge: How do you even have money to buy booze?
Him: Haha, I pawned some of her shit.
Jorge: Na, I'm good man. I need to be getting back anyways.
Him: Suit yourself.... Pussy
Hee peels off in his truck as Jorge stands shaking his head. The door inside of the garage opens...
Her: Is he gone?
Jorge turns and looks at her...
Jorge: Yea, but we don't have long until he gets back.
The End
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and none the characters in this fictitious story resemble anybody that I know or have ever met. If anything seems familiar to anyone reading this it is by sheer coincidence.
Peaces and Creases
TBN
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