As I load a bowl I contemplate the word conviction. There are two definitions for this word but as I spark this bowl only one definition truly holds the true meaning of the word. Conviction- a firmly held belief or opinion. This is probably mind blowing to most.... having conviction in what you say/speak. And it is sad, to say the least. If you have discussed/debated/argued with me I tend to come off as angry. Or I just want to be "right" at all cost. Negative. I don't mean to come off that way but hey, it is what it is. I speak with conviction, not with anger. I am and will always do as such. I find myself getting in discussions with people who lack conviction therefore they proceed to back peddle until I put them in a corner. Then I somehow become the bad guy because I questioned what they have no conviction in. LISTEN, if you don't have any conviction in what you are saying, do me a favor and don't speak. You just walked into a knife fight carrying a spoon! You will not CONVINCE me of anything without actual conviction. Simple as that. If you believe the Holocaust was a farce, or Jesus walked on water, that's fine just be prepared to back up your statements with conviction and facts. Otherwise we are both wasting our breath. I'm high. But that's neither here nor there. Pay attention. I typically get labeled as the "angry black man". You want to know why? Because I speak my mind and do so with conviction. I firmly hold a certain belief and/or opinion. I think I read that somewhere (scratching head emoji). And I stand by it. So I'm not trying to be right. I'm trying to express my conviction and find out if you have any. If you don't, inevitably your lack of conviction will look you straight in the face. At this point I'm usually cursed at, told to leave, or swung at (Never turns out well for either party. I'm in jail, you're in the hospital... yada yada). But I digress. What the fuck do I know anyway?
TBN OUT
Peaces and Creases
P.S.- There would be no revolutions without conviction.
Monday, April 29, 2019
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
WORLDS COLLIDE! Children's Softball- Part One
Being the other guy is a roller coaster/waterslide/ skydive filled with little land mines that may pop up at any moment (bouncing betty). However, as the other guy, you don't even know that you are walking into a mine field. Once you step on one, you simply have to take the shrapnel from a random explosion you had nothing to do with and quietly adhere to your own wounds. Because the mine field that you inadvertently walked into is a world that you are not only unfamiliar with...., you can't even have a reaction to said mine that just shattered your shin bone. You have to silently endure.
So the world I referred to just above is a network of people that know, perceive to know about everyone in that network. There are certain circles within the network which rival those of High School but mind you they are grown adults. Don't let age fool you. We as Americans can easily revert back to High School in the blink of an eye. The immaturity, thoughtlessness of youth, athletic acumen, short sightedness caused by hormones, and so on and so forth. But High School ended 20 years ago, well for me at least.
So now I am the other guy unexpectedly dropped into a war zone called softball where my training in the Marine Corps means absolutely nothing (underhand pitches and hand grenades). I have no idea how to navigate, my compass is useless. I have only my wits and charm to stay alive in this world they call softball. I have seen softball and even played it, BUT when it comes to kid's softball there is a whole nother underbelly that the unknowing casual spectator that does not see. I was that spectator until I unwittingly took the blue pill.
To be Continued...
Peaces and Creases
TBN
So the world I referred to just above is a network of people that know, perceive to know about everyone in that network. There are certain circles within the network which rival those of High School but mind you they are grown adults. Don't let age fool you. We as Americans can easily revert back to High School in the blink of an eye. The immaturity, thoughtlessness of youth, athletic acumen, short sightedness caused by hormones, and so on and so forth. But High School ended 20 years ago, well for me at least.
So now I am the other guy unexpectedly dropped into a war zone called softball where my training in the Marine Corps means absolutely nothing (underhand pitches and hand grenades). I have no idea how to navigate, my compass is useless. I have only my wits and charm to stay alive in this world they call softball. I have seen softball and even played it, BUT when it comes to kid's softball there is a whole nother underbelly that the unknowing casual spectator that does not see. I was that spectator until I unwittingly took the blue pill.
To be Continued...
Peaces and Creases
TBN
Thursday, April 18, 2019
That Guy: The Guy that really just doesn't get it and refuses to
I'm pissed. I can't take this shit anymore. She's always up in my ass for no fucking reason. You know what, fuck it! I'll show her. Hee grabs his keys and enters the garage where his 1998 Camaro is sitting which has been neglected because she never gets taken out, as the registration has been out for some time now. Hee opens the driver side door with authority, waking her up from a long slumber. Hee hops in the driver seat and fires up the engine, even revs it a couple of times. Camaro is excited to finally go out for a spin. However, the garage door never opens. That's right bitch, this will change your ways. Hee inhales deeply as the fumes from the exhaust begin to feel the small garage. Suddenly the garage door begins to open....
Oh shit what time is it? How long was I passed out for? As the garage door rises he sees her car pulling into the drive way....
What the fuck is this motherfucker doing in the garage with his stupid ass car running. Rreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaly! He thinks he's going to kill himself in my garage, when my kids will be home shortly! OH NO SIR! She jumps out of her vehicle and runs up to the driver side window. Hee turns and looks at her somewhat half asleep. POW! His head snaps back. BOOM! His head bounces off of the steering wheel. Hee is quickly snapped back to reality and she is in his face like a Velociraptor waiting for a raw steak. "You fucking think you are going to kill yourself in my HOUSE when my kids are about to be home!" She pulls him from the vehicle. "You kill yourself somewhere else you selfish prick." Hee lies on the garage pavement in tears somewhat ashamed for his actions because hee really never fully intended on killing himself. She storms into the house to find empty bottles of liquor strewn about. Not exactly anything new, but this little stunt takes the cake. She grabs her phone as she hears him wailing in the background, "Why won't you love me!?" The phone begins to ring....
"Hello? Oh hey what's up you sound a little frantic. Wait he tried to do WHAT?! Ah fuck. I'm on my way." He immediately jumps up and grabs his keys and rushes out of the door without any explanation to the friends who are sitting in his living room.....
He pulls up to the house (to simplify things, let's just call him Jorge). Jorge pulls up to the house and sees him sitting on the tailgate of his truck. Jorge parks and gets out of his vehicle, Fuck me what do I say to him? He walks up to the driveway:
Jorge: What's going on, talk to me? You are really scaring some people.
Him: Ah shit she called you didn't she?
Jorge: Yea, and I think for good reason.
Jorge sits down on the tailgate with him.
Jorge: You care to explain the reason why I am here?
Hee is somewhat calm and almost jovial for someone who just tried to commit suicide.
Him: Well Jorge, I don't think you would get it. You just fuck hookers and deal drugs.
That's an outrageous statement, but just go with it.
Jorge: Well why don't you try me?
Him: Man, I just can't get ahead (says entitled white male). I mean I'm a veteran, shouldn't
that count for something? You know what I mean?
Actually no, I was in the Marine Corps and you were in the Navy. 2 completely different experiences.
Jorge: I know exactly what you mean. But how did we get where we are right now? Is it the
the job that is stressing you out or what?
Him: Na, I lost that job after a week. And she got pissed! People have panic attacks, get over it
geez.
Jorge: So you're not working right now?
Him: Na, it's been a little over a month and she's totally up my ass. I mean she did pay for me to come out here from Georgia and supports me financially, but WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I am a man but she treats me like a child.
Jorge: So let me get this straight. She paid for you to move here, supports you financially, and provides a roof over your head. I'm confused as to why you would want to commit
suicide.
Him: You just don't get it J. I mean, she drinks all the time too. Sometimes she even smokes
pot.
Jorge: Umm ok, but you do those things too. However, she has a full time job which pays your bills. She is also raising two children. So I don't think your focus should be on her. You should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have actually grown up. For fuck sake 2 months ago you were living with your mother.
Him: Like I said Jorge, YOU DON'T GET IT! Anyway, I'm gonna grab some 99 Bananas from the liquor store, you want anything? You would have to give me money for it of course. That bitch only put a quarter tank of gas in my truck, so I'm strapped for cash.
Jorge looks at him in disbelief.
Jorge: How do you even have money to buy booze?
Him: Haha, I pawned some of her shit.
Jorge: Na, I'm good man. I need to be getting back anyways.
Him: Suit yourself.... Pussy
Hee peels off in his truck as Jorge stands shaking his head. The door inside of the garage opens...
Her: Is he gone?
Jorge turns and looks at her...
Jorge: Yea, but we don't have long until he gets back.
The End
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and none the characters in this fictitious story resemble anybody that I know or have ever met. If anything seems familiar to anyone reading this it is by sheer coincidence.
Peaces and Creases
TBN
Oh shit what time is it? How long was I passed out for? As the garage door rises he sees her car pulling into the drive way....
What the fuck is this motherfucker doing in the garage with his stupid ass car running. Rreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaly! He thinks he's going to kill himself in my garage, when my kids will be home shortly! OH NO SIR! She jumps out of her vehicle and runs up to the driver side window. Hee turns and looks at her somewhat half asleep. POW! His head snaps back. BOOM! His head bounces off of the steering wheel. Hee is quickly snapped back to reality and she is in his face like a Velociraptor waiting for a raw steak. "You fucking think you are going to kill yourself in my HOUSE when my kids are about to be home!" She pulls him from the vehicle. "You kill yourself somewhere else you selfish prick." Hee lies on the garage pavement in tears somewhat ashamed for his actions because hee really never fully intended on killing himself. She storms into the house to find empty bottles of liquor strewn about. Not exactly anything new, but this little stunt takes the cake. She grabs her phone as she hears him wailing in the background, "Why won't you love me!?" The phone begins to ring....
"Hello? Oh hey what's up you sound a little frantic. Wait he tried to do WHAT?! Ah fuck. I'm on my way." He immediately jumps up and grabs his keys and rushes out of the door without any explanation to the friends who are sitting in his living room.....
He pulls up to the house (to simplify things, let's just call him Jorge). Jorge pulls up to the house and sees him sitting on the tailgate of his truck. Jorge parks and gets out of his vehicle, Fuck me what do I say to him? He walks up to the driveway:
Jorge: What's going on, talk to me? You are really scaring some people.
Him: Ah shit she called you didn't she?
Jorge: Yea, and I think for good reason.
Jorge sits down on the tailgate with him.
Jorge: You care to explain the reason why I am here?
Hee is somewhat calm and almost jovial for someone who just tried to commit suicide.
Him: Well Jorge, I don't think you would get it. You just fuck hookers and deal drugs.
That's an outrageous statement, but just go with it.
Jorge: Well why don't you try me?
Him: Man, I just can't get ahead (says entitled white male). I mean I'm a veteran, shouldn't
that count for something? You know what I mean?
Actually no, I was in the Marine Corps and you were in the Navy. 2 completely different experiences.
Jorge: I know exactly what you mean. But how did we get where we are right now? Is it the
the job that is stressing you out or what?
Him: Na, I lost that job after a week. And she got pissed! People have panic attacks, get over it
geez.
Jorge: So you're not working right now?
Him: Na, it's been a little over a month and she's totally up my ass. I mean she did pay for me to come out here from Georgia and supports me financially, but WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I am a man but she treats me like a child.
Jorge: So let me get this straight. She paid for you to move here, supports you financially, and provides a roof over your head. I'm confused as to why you would want to commit
suicide.
Him: You just don't get it J. I mean, she drinks all the time too. Sometimes she even smokes
pot.
Jorge: Umm ok, but you do those things too. However, she has a full time job which pays your bills. She is also raising two children. So I don't think your focus should be on her. You should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have actually grown up. For fuck sake 2 months ago you were living with your mother.
Him: Like I said Jorge, YOU DON'T GET IT! Anyway, I'm gonna grab some 99 Bananas from the liquor store, you want anything? You would have to give me money for it of course. That bitch only put a quarter tank of gas in my truck, so I'm strapped for cash.
Jorge looks at him in disbelief.
Jorge: How do you even have money to buy booze?
Him: Haha, I pawned some of her shit.
Jorge: Na, I'm good man. I need to be getting back anyways.
Him: Suit yourself.... Pussy
Hee peels off in his truck as Jorge stands shaking his head. The door inside of the garage opens...
Her: Is he gone?
Jorge turns and looks at her...
Jorge: Yea, but we don't have long until he gets back.
The End
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and none the characters in this fictitious story resemble anybody that I know or have ever met. If anything seems familiar to anyone reading this it is by sheer coincidence.
Peaces and Creases
TBN
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