Last Try

Is it Sunday already? I need to climb... or mow the grass... or do absolutely nothing. BUT that is what I have done all week. But I deserve a week off, I did a triathlon last weekend, dont I deserve a week off? Then the proverbial angel on my shoulder says, "NO! You havent climbed in like 2 weeks! Get your ass up". So in order to circumvent my conscience I message B-Town to see if he is climbing. Of course he says yes. Mind you it's a tight game between the Sixers and Wizards, first round of the NBA Playoffs and my feet kicked up on the couch enjoying the absence of my wife and kids.Then my wife returns home from the store and I attempt another way out of going to the gym. I say: "You know I'm thinking about climbing today, but haven't I done enough, don't I deserve a week off"? Crickets... she doesn't even respond, just starts unloading groceries. So now I have no excuse except for my own weak one's. So I get off the couch and tell myself just put on some pants. Then a shirt. Ok lets just start driving in the direction of the gym and if you change your mind you can always just turn around and head home. I hop on the beltway and it starts pissing cats ansd dogs. I'm like YES! Perfect reason to turn around and go home (the devil on my shoulder tells me). But Angel is like: well your already on the beltway, might as well just keep on going. So I say fuck it, might as well. I arrive and there is like 9,000 cars in the parking lot. I walk thru the doors and immediatly to my left I see B-Town intensly watching a guy climb something that immediatly made me want to put some chalk on my hands and jump up there with him. HAHAHA. Not at at all, homeboy was climbing a V10. So on a scale of 1-10, 10 is the hardest. It actually made me want to turn around and go right back to my truck, rub chalk on my hands so when I got home I could tell me wife that I climbed. I just walk by and hope they don't see me enter. They did not. I warmup on some easy routes and get up my confidence to go speak to my buddy. Here is what I say, "this is where the professionals hang out I see"? My buddy is engrossed in his buddy climbing a V whatever. Thankfully his wife luaghs at my comment or I might have had a panic attack. B-Town acknolegdes my existance and goes back to being a spider monkey.His wife kinda tries to talk to me into some routes in the "Pro Zone" to which I politely decline and go find the "Loser Zone". Ok, so now that I am done with that complete tangent I can get to, as they like to say in climbing "The Crux" of this story. I put in some good work in the "Loser Zone". Then I see this group trying this route.... the holds are purple (which means easy) so I automatically assume it's easy. I watch a guy try it, pretty heavy set gentlemen, and think well he can't make that move because he's fat. Excuse my courseness, thats not nice to say but it is my story. They eventually move along. Now its my turn to try this route that I so crassly called this guy fat because he couldnt make a certain move. I get up there and low and behold I cant make the same fucking move! Who's fat now idiot! I try once, twice, three times. Some hippy ass chick is laying next to where I am embarrassing myself and gets up on my route. I'm not happy about it but I do want to see if she can send it. Sorry I'm using a lot of climbing lingo, "send" means reach the top/finish. Long strory short she fucking cheated and used a boulder from another route. So I'm like shit that wasn't helpful. So I try a fourth time, and I actually do worse than my prior attempts. So I tell myself I have one more try. I'm making built in excuses before my last try: "its been 2 hours bro, you havent climbed in 2 weeks, you are tired". I shut devil down, chalked up and stared at my enemy. This is it George, youre going home a loser. Pfft, SENT that shit like a postal worker! Peaces and Creases TBN OUT