Ok. I'm back but not in a nice way. Real talk. Good intentions pave the way to hell. I'm done, I throw in the towel (figuratively of course). I got fast hands and sometimes I would like to display my certain set of skills on certain individuals. However, I hung my gloves up a while back and violence never got anyone anywhere. I strike with the keyboard these days.
Now that we are nice and settled in let's get started. I did the best I could. Hung around for longer than I should. Mind you, against the advice of my friends and against my better judgment. But hey that's who I am. Helping others is ingrained in my DNA. That being said, I ask my self the question, is it worth it because more often than not, helping, ultimately ends up biting me in the ass, and not in a good way. The list of people that I cut out of my life seems to be getting longer. Perhaps it's me. I often use the phrase "what's the common denominator"? As I evaluate the list of folks that keep falling by the wayside I have to ask the question: Is it me?. Am I the common denominator? It is a fair and valid question. Haha, no the fuck it isn't. I had ya'll going for a second. I know who the fuck I am and where I stand on any issue and if you ask anyone that knows me well, they will tell you the same. You are probably thinking: "What an arrogant bastard". No. I just happen to be comfortable in my own skin which is hard for most to grasp. Not my problem. Because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, YOU WANT ME ON THAT WALL, YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL. So while you may take my kindness for weakness, you will ultimately end up on my proverbial list. This may seem harsh, and my existence may seem grotesque and incomprehensible to you.... I simply don't give a fuck.
It is my wall and I will protect it by any means necessary. I refuse to sacrifice myself for those who cannot see the greatness in me and/or take advantage of that greatness. I'd rather you said thank you and went on your way. Either way, I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me.
Peaces and Creases
TBN out
P.S.- I'm not really as angry as that just sounded.
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ReplyDeleteHmmm. I am genuinely happy that you are no longer held down by me. I care for you and only want the best for you. I am sorry I could not provide that happiness for you. I didn't realize this is how you felt about me, but I get it. I have never claimed to enjoy being the angry black man, contrary to popular belief, I thought you knew that. That is neither here nor there. This post was more about me than it was about you. I never intended for my 160 pounds to hold you down, I actually truly thought I was doing the opposite. I was grossly wrong, and the "common denominator" is me. I was hoping for a copacetic closure but I guess this is the best I will get. Best of luck in your future endeavors and I hope you can find happiness out of negativity. I simply cannot.
ReplyDeletePeaces and Creases
TBN out
P.S. If there is anyone else that would like to get something off of there chest.... have at it. I have two punching bags. They both hang from the ceiling of my garage.
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ReplyDeleteMay the light positively keep shining, because it’s all my fault at the end of the day I just a negative Nancy. That’s why you have so many people having your back. I wish you well, I guess I took the rose colored glasses off and can see how well you didn’t treat me. I digress and wish you well, enjoy you book I ordered you, then drink your ale.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you remove your prior comments? Drink my ale? Just started the book. Thank you
ReplyDeleteAnd again, work on your proofreading
ReplyDeleteI’ll tell you why, because I was angry and it’s not worth it to put my business out there for everyone to see. George I don’t hate you, but we both know that you did me kind of wrong and dirty, and then you blocked me so I retaliated because i knew you would write about me. I was angry, and I’m not going apologize for what I said you read it, and most of what I said I standby, but I don’t think that it was just me that was the problem. I own my accountability, and yes you did as best as you could. I just think that it’s easy to get wrapped up when you spend everyday with someone for almost three years or so. My writing had grammatical errors, yes but you understood what I was saying. I really hope the book helps as it was actually a thoughtful gift. You like to read, me not so much. As far as saying drink your ale. It’s far better than saying hi to hell. Lol. I was just trying to rhyme. I think instead of bashing one and other it should stop. I don’t think you’re a horrible person, but like myself there are issues that need to be resolved. Maybe one day we will talk again, as I am rather quick to forgive. I did that a long time ago because holding on to anger sucks, and hurts those around us. So if you want to say something to me just text me this is crap, and very childish. I know I don’t proof read because if I go back and edit it takes forever. So you get what you get, I am who I am and I’m not changing anything except for things that I would like to improve for me. So no more low blows, not from me anyway. Tell Rufus and Nana hello and give them an extra kiss. I miss them very much, as for you I can never live up to your expectations for me; as they are always changing and super high. Julian is very upset by all this and was trying to reach out to talk to you, and you can’t even text him back? Our stuff is different, he looks up to you with and has highly respectful to you this whole time. So please at the least text him and tell him that you are there for him. That will give him closure, and he won’t bother you again. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteFinish the book yet? Jusy curious on your take.
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