I just watched the movie Grudge Match… oh where to begin? I
begrudgingly checked out this movie from my local library, the alluring part
being that it is free. Spoiler alert! It was what anyone who has ever seen a
movie with, not just aging stars, but aged stars. Not to take away anything
from what Sly and Bobby have done in the past, Bobby was one of my favorite
actors back in the day. Who can compete with movies like Taxi Driver,
Goodfellas, and Casino? After the movie Ronin came out I knew the
time was near. I have never really been a fan of Sly but Rocky and Rambo are undeniably
American classics. However some movies just shouldn’t be made, however in the words
of John Rambo, “Nothing is over, NOTHING!” Unfortunately some things are. The
movie wasn’t all bad; Alan Arkin was the one shining piece in this film which
is ironic because he is older than both the leads. But it’s actually not ironic
because Arkin plays his actual age in the movie.
The movie begins with a story of two light heavyweights who are in their prime in the early 80’s, those fighters being Robert Deniro and Sylvester Stallone.
This part of the movie was actually cleverly done; they
show photos of Sly from the first Rocky and a photo of Bobby from Raging Bull.
They fight twice with each winning one. Then the wheels fall off. Sly gives his
usual performance as a lummox who for all intents and purposes keeps asking: ‘who
keeps ringing that bell, I can’t concentrate’. For some reason Kim Basinger
decides to play the role of Adrian from the Rocky movies as a side note. Deniro
does the best he can in a poorly scripted movie while Kevin Hart (whom I
usually like) plays fight promoter in a role that seems he is only capable of
playing; short and quick witted, but ultimately showing no range as an actor
but rather a comedian. Please someone cast him in something where he can
attempt to do something else besides having a Napoleon complex for which he
over compensates for by being overly loud. There is also some father son babble
where that one guy you’ve seen before but don’t know his name plays the role of
Deniro’s son. He does well as a side note in an attempt
to add depth to the movie which actually comes across as unnecessary and cliché.
I’d love to explain more about what happens in the movie but like watching it I
would rather just move on. Sly and Deniro slug it out in the proverbial grudge
match where boxing was optional. There was one highlight of the fight which
included Jim Lamply, Larry Merchant, and Roy Jones. Wait scratch RJ, he would
have been fine if he didn’t have any lines. After seeing him getting his ass
kicked in the ring and then seeing in the Matrix, why would anyone think it
would be a good idea for him to speak on screen? Anyway they batter each
other’s face to hamburger meat which is to be expected with any movies with the
great Rocky. But the kicker is they help each other up after they have been
knocked down by one another. Seriously? That’s a whole another tangent I could
go on where competitive sports in America has gone where finishers of anything
get a metal.
So in conclusion, if you wanted to see two once respected
actors pretend to box then you should see this film. In reality steroid
pumping, punch drunk Sly would destroy Bobby in the ring. Sly clearly has 50
pounds on Bobby. If it came down to an acting bout, Deniro has 500 pounds on Sly
. And Alan Arkin would walk away with the belt.
Pieces and Crieces
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