Saturday, July 5, 2014

A Grudge Match With Father Time

I just watched the movie Grudge Match… oh where to begin? I begrudgingly checked out this movie from my local library, the alluring part being that it is free. Spoiler alert! It was what anyone who has ever seen a movie with, not just aging stars, but aged stars. Not to take away anything from what Sly and Bobby have done in the past, Bobby was one of my favorite actors back in the day. Who can compete with movies like Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, and Casino? After the movie Ronin came out I knew the time was near. I have never really been a fan of Sly but Rocky and Rambo are undeniably American classics. However some movies just shouldn’t be made, however in the words of John Rambo, “Nothing is over, NOTHING!” Unfortunately some things are. The movie wasn’t all bad; Alan Arkin was the one shining piece in this film which is ironic because he is older than both the leads. But it’s actually not ironic because Arkin plays his actual age in the movie.
The movie begins with a story of two light heavyweights who are in their prime in the early 80’s, those fighters being Robert Deniro and Sylvester Stallone. This part of the movie was actually cleverly done; they show photos of Sly from the first Rocky and a photo of Bobby from Raging Bull. They fight twice with each winning one. Then the wheels fall off. Sly gives his usual performance as a lummox who for all intents and purposes keeps asking: ‘who keeps ringing that bell, I can’t concentrate’. For some reason Kim Basinger decides to play the role of Adrian from the Rocky movies as a side note. Deniro does the best he can in a poorly scripted movie while Kevin Hart (whom I usually like) plays fight promoter in a role that seems he is only capable of playing; short and quick witted, but ultimately showing no range as an actor but rather a comedian. Please someone cast him in something where he can attempt to do something else besides having a Napoleon complex for which he over compensates for by being overly loud. There is also some father son babble where that one guy you’ve seen before but don’t know his name plays the role of Deniro’s son. He does well as a side note in an attempt to add depth to the movie which actually comes across as unnecessary and cliché. 

I’d love to explain more about what happens in the movie but like watching it I would rather just move on. Sly and Deniro slug it out in the proverbial grudge match where boxing was optional. There was one highlight of the fight which included Jim Lamply, Larry Merchant, and Roy Jones. Wait scratch RJ, he would have been fine if he didn’t have any lines. After seeing him getting his ass kicked in the ring and then seeing in the Matrix, why would anyone think it would be a good idea for him to speak on screen? Anyway they batter each other’s face to hamburger meat which is to be expected with any movies with the great Rocky. But the kicker is they help each other up after they have been knocked down by one another. Seriously? That’s a whole another tangent I could go on where competitive sports in America has gone where finishers of anything get a metal.

So in conclusion, if you wanted to see two once respected actors pretend to box then you should see this film. In reality steroid pumping, punch drunk Sly would destroy Bobby in the ring. Sly clearly has 50 pounds on Bobby. If it came down to an acting bout, Deniro has 500 pounds on Sly . And Alan Arkin would walk away with the belt.

Pieces and Crieces

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