I sit in my hotel room wandering what I am doing here. The
place is far too plush for the likes of me and the price reflects accordingly.
So now I sit at my hotel provided workstation, with my loaned laptop and try to
get to the bottom of this quandary of how I ended up here. Good luck to me
because the only thing I am good at is getting to the bottom of a bottle. So I currently sit here, wondering why I am
here and meanwhile racing towards the bottom of a bottle of whiskey I
originally bought, not for myself, but what the hell. When the demons come a
knocking, I come a answering.
I search for the demons in this hotel room but they have yet
to reveal themselves which I find disappointing. I think they are trapped
behind all of the “fancy furniture” and coffee maker which I have no idea how to
operate. But they will come, they always do. I try and fight them off with
sobriety, then whiskey. Neither of which seem to work. I think I am destined to
carry this cross which isn’t necessarily a bad thing; that is if my words make
it further than a Word document. I’ve started writing a book.
For those who have the time or the inclination I suggest
sitting in a room without any sounds or distractions and just sit and let your
mind wonder. My guess is most of the majority will focus your attention on the important things: bills, groceries, Jack
and Jill up the hill, your job, your next oil change etc. When that happens I
want you to hunker down and remain in silence and let your mind continue to go
wherever it fancies itself going. Eventually you will reach a point where very
little of what you think actually makes since. This guys and dolls is what I
call the clarity of life.
It is in confusion we find clarity. It is in weakness we
find the most strength. It is during times of vulnerability that we find security…
I can’t claim that any of this is actually true but I can speak to my own
experiences. Or can I? But back to the silent room. After all the immediate
trivial things of life slip away what are you left with? I am curious to hear
any comments to this post. I don’t typically attempt to interact with the small
amount of readers that do read my nonsense but I am genuinely interested in
some feedback (fear not religious folks
your thoughts are also welcomed). Perhaps my mask of sanity has begun to slip.
Perhaps I have lost touch with those of you who maintain your mask of sanity
without any effort at all. Or maybe all the booze, women, drugs, and firefights
have finally gotten to me, which very well may be the reason I am holed up in
this overpriced hotel. Who the fuck
knows? Who really cares for that matter?
