Do You Know Where Your Library Card Is?

I don’t remember my first time. I don’t think a lot of people do. I do remember when it became a flagship for this person that speaks to you today. I'd say it was around the third or fourth grade when I really found my stride. My ship left the docks to farther regions.

I would beg my mother to order me this and that. And she would, not everything I wanted, but enough to keep me hungry. The ship stalled a bit in middle school because sea life wasn’t for everybody, and I wanted to be a part of everybody, so I joined the masses... "Ships are stupid... you’re a dork if you like sailing…" so on and so forth. 

 

Once I reached high school I found my sea legs once again, but I would only set sail under the cover of dark, covert, underneath the radar. Then things changed drastically. Suddenly the ship was sinking. But I grabbed my survival buoy and kept afloat. Luckily I was saved by a salty sea goer along with his mother. They reeled in my buoy and brought me aboard their ship. Low and behold they were the best sailors I had met thus far in my journeys. They re-introduced me to the boat house which i had forgotten about during my days in middle school. I returned to that boat house with a vengeance during my later years of high school, me and my sea faring friend were deep sea fishing, reeling in whatever we wanted. 

Unfortunately during that time (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) I put fishing over my school work. I'll never forget, keep in mind I would show up to class with nothing but a fish, and my teacher would ask me, “would you care to dissect the frog that the rest of the class has prepared to dissect ?” I would respond, “no maam”? I would show her my frog which was not a frog at all to which she would respond, “’All the Kings Men’, I love that fish what are you doing fishing in those type of waters? The assignment was to dissect a frog”. My response would be: “Well Miss whoever the fuck, I like fish, not frogs, I do not care what is on your menu for dissection”.  This reaction would inevitably lead me to the Game Warden, where I would be reprimanded for my insubordination. 

Well needless to say I have kept fishing. From my humble observation, fishing has come all but obsolete; everyone chooses to dissect frogs nowadays. But I continue to fish, the same way all my fisherman heroes did back in the good old days when having a fishing license meant something. So as I finish this piece, I leave you with one question: do you know where your library card is?

Peaces and Creases

Time to Get Up

I go to sleep; only because it’s about 3 or 4am in the morning and I don’t want anyone to think I’m weird for being up so late and/or early. You know what I mean... my roommate heading to work and as he walks past my room he hears DJ Screw openin up shop. Not a good look. So at some point I have to wake up. Which I do, I roll over and squint at the clock... 9:26am. Oh that will not do, that is far too early to do anything productive. I close my eyes and hope for more rest. 

10:24am, that’s a little better but still I need more time to get my shit together. Come on!... I got out of the Corp years ago assholes who are judging me. 

11:55am, now it’s almost noon, time to consider making moves. I don’t make any moves because this is when I get my best sleep... when I reach REM. The time when I have dreams about War, high school dances, and stealing candy from the corner store when I'm 8. 

1:12pm hits and I know it, I don’t have to look at the clock. Now I have choices... A: actually get up B: keep 'sleeping' with one eye open and register each hour that passes until boredom forces me out of my slumber or… C: Break my shackles and wonder the streets until I am tired.. find shelter... curl up and reach REM.

Pieces and Creases

When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. What happens when you run out of lemonade pitchers, or cups, or nickels, or demand? Do you continue to make more lemonade? You don’t have to be a business major to know that the closure of the lemonade stand is inevitable. Sometimes life runs out of lemonade pitchers, it’s nobody’s fault, shit happens.

So your lemonade stand went under and now you are stuck with a bunch of lemons that even the local farmer’s market won’t touch. What do you do at this point? You could, A: sell your lemons to Bobby up the road who runs a large lemon factory, who could toss your lemons in with the rest of the multitudes of lemons and keep the machine going. OR you could, B: give your lemons to a small local farmer and say, “hey take care of these for me would ya?. In most exchanges such as these, the farmer responds “I don’t need your tainted lemons you degenerate freak”. So plan C: go out to a lemon farm; and one by one throw lemons into the farm until you are out of lemons, then smile and walk away.

Peaces and Creases

Manifesto

It’s not as difficult as you may think. We all stalk prey whether it is in the form of looking for a mate, looking for that next promotion, or just a goal you have been striving for. We focus on what we want and we go after it. But in this case it is more methodical; it has to be or you end up just like the rest. You don’t want to be like the rest. So you do your research, painstaking research. Reconnaissance. It begins by selecting your target. This part is not as important; basically it’s whatever tickles you’re fancy. After you have chosen a target the actual legwork begins. You watch, then you watch some more, this is all a part of the stalk. Once you have gathered enough intel it’s time to move to the next step… when and where. Now the ‘when’ is important, it has to be a time when life is hectic, a time when anyone can get lost in the hustle and bustle of life. ‘Where’, is just as important. It should be somewhere where the hustle and bustle of life is absent. Beaches work well, and if you are not close to a beach then docks work just as well. If you’re not close to either, the industrial part of town is just as sufficient.

Once you have gathered your intel decided when and where; it’s time to move to the next step… which is formulating your exit strategy as well as your contingency plan (as much planning as you put into an exercise something can still go wrong and you need to be prepared). The exit strategy simply involves your course of action after you have acquired your target. Make it quick and simple, so that it can be executed in a timely fashion with the least amount of attention. Keep in mind that all actions should be clocked/timed. You should execute several dry runs before going live, so all possible unpredicted outcomes are accounted for. Now the contingency plan should incorporate the actions you would take in the instance things should not go (excuse my redundancy) as planned. So pick a quick avenue of escape close to where you plan on obtaining your target.

Only two steps remain… execution and disposal. Execution should speak for itself. Simply execute everything you have meticulously planned for. Then you are at the final step: disposal of the prey. This step is often overlooked and that is how you end up like the rest of them. So take your time and do it right and think it through, you didn’t come this far to fuck it up now. It is quite simple, make everything you have done look as though it never took place.

Rinse and Repeat

Peaces and Creases